That was one of my biggest concerns with this situations..... that he just couldn't seem to accept that he had misunderstood me or was in the wrong. I think if the situation were reversed, once I realized that I had misunderstood, I'd have let go of any offended feelings and probably laughed my silliness off. With him, I could tell that nothing I said at that time, or could say, was going to change his mind.

Both of us have baggage that we are dealing with and while in the above situation, I feel he was out of line, there are definitely other times when it was me out of line. We both acknowledge that entering any relationship at this time would likely not work out, however, we both care about each other and are having a hard time just walking away. Even if it's just to give ourselves the time to deal with our baggage. Despite the above occurrence, he does recognize (and ultimately after that episode he did apologize) that he has issues that he needs to work on, as do I. Looking at the episode above, I have to agree that it might be best to walk away, and that day may yet come. But at the same time, I hope that people give me a chance when they might feel it's best to walk away from me, because when I am able to acknowledge a problem and work to improve myself, I might be worth sticking by.

Regarding the original post, he and I handle stress and anger in very different ways. I want to address the situation, talk it out, explain and hopefully we both walk away with a better understanding of each other. And I have a keen urge to fix things. He on the other hand doesn't want to talk when he is angry. He wants time and space for the angry or hurt emotions to subside. Pressing him to talk at a time like this, only leads him to greater anger and the possibility of pushing him to saying something we both regret. It is very difficult for me to give this space when I am in "I've got to fix this mode" or "I've got to explain it mode."

Recently we have seemed to have reached a point that we are able to set aside the negativity that has been plaguing us. It came when we decided that we are not in a relationship of any kind, we are not dating, we are not together in any way. Somehow that allowed me to release myself from the needy, anxious, reactionary way I had been handling things. And once I did that, it changed his reaction to me and brought back this man who sees me as someone he wants in his future.

Now I can look at us, at him, and know that this is the man I want around me. And I'm coming to understand what was triggering my reactions with him in the past. And I can also look at myself, and know that this is the me that has been missing for the last few years. The me who is confident, and who doesn't need someone who doesn't seem to want me in their life. I'm going to continue to work on myself, and give him a chance to work on himself, and we'll either remain friends, grow into something more, or not. And I'll be happy either way.

I know that I feel better about myself, than I have in a long time, and I want this feeling, this me, to stay.

Sorry, sort of went on a tangent lol.