[quote=DorianStorm;4043523]

Hello DorianStorm: I'm going to just offer a couple of observations here. By the way, I'm an older person. I don't know if that's particularly relevant. But it's something to keep in mind. Someone more your age might have a different perspective. You are in what is typically referred to as a "love triangle"... You are, perhaps, falling in love with this young woman. And she perhaps has feelings for you too. But she has a boyfriend for whom she presumably also has feelings, & vice versa.

First I want to say you are not bad or evil or anything of the sort! You are simply experiencing something that has been going on since time immemorial, as we say. And, from what you wrote, it sounds as though the young woman in your life has feelings for you too. So it's not like you're trying to throw yourself at someone who just wants to be left alone. These kind of relationships happen all the time. Yes, they can get messy, so it's excellent you're thinking about the implications of the relationship. And, no, it's not at all wrong to feel jealous... it's perfectly normal.

Basically, from my perspective, the ball is in the young woman's court. You mentioned that the two of you will be separated for a week & she'll be with her boyfriend. This probably isn't a bad thing. Basically the young woman is going to have to choose between her current boyfriend & you. She can't have both. And if she somehow thinks she can, my suggestion would be you end the relationship. You don't want to become further involved in this "love triangle".

Making the choice, may be difficult for her. And you may need to give her some space in which to make her decision. Don't press her to decide. Let it come naturally. But also don't continue to see her, on a romantic basis, while she's making her decision. This will only muddy the waters & make parting even more difficult than it already will be, if this ends up being what needs to happen. From what you wrote, it sounds to me as though your relationship with this young woman has already become intense. So, if at some point, she says goodbye, you will already most likely feel quite lost for a period of time. This is also quite natural & to be expected.

Again, from my perspective, there is no such thing as "meant to be together". There is no predetermination. This young woman simply met her boyfriend first, & now she's met you. It's just a fact of life. And since it appears she has feelings for you, she simply has to decide whether to end her relationship with her boyfriend & go with you or end her relationship with you. You most certainly do stand a chance, I would say. Also any one of the three of you could, at some point, find still another person & bail out... who knows?

I obviously don't know you or this young woman or her boyfriend. But keeping in mind what I said about not pressing the young woman for a decision, but also not staying in the relationship if she won't decide, in the meantime, simply be gentle with her & kind. Certainly talk with her as much as the two of you want. But do it in public places so there's no chance of overheated intimacy developing. Be supportive & understanding of the dilemma she is in. And allow her to come to her own decision. I know this is a tall order. I'm sure what you're feeling is the desire to storm in & snatch her away (I would.) But you can't do that. All you can do is to be supportive, allow her the time she needs, & do what you can to prepare yourself for the worst if that should be the outcome. (By the way, when first you see her, after your week apart, a small, thoughtful, not expensive gift would not be out of order. My very first gift to my wife was a curly potato chip wrapped in aluminum foil & tied with a red ribbon! Neither of us has ever forgotten it.)

Good luck!!!