So, I haven't been able to tell this t much about my cutting, but asked her to look and see if she can find it in records from the couples t my wife and I saw in that office last year... I kinda brought it up as I was leaving, and hesitated, but she said she'd look it up since I decided to ask her to do it. Only now it's freaking me out and her stupid voice mail is full so I can't leave her a message not to look for that info. Ugh! It's hugely shameful for me, and I'm totally having second thoughts about it.
I know there's some stuff I need to talk about around it. At first I thought it would be easier if she knew, but now I'm thinking she doesn't need to know and we can talk around it.
I know I have not gotten a negative response from other t's about it (they have all been super careful to hide their disgust, unlike the doctors that found out), but this is freaking me out. She's been awesome about everything else, but... I dunno. I think I want to hide forever now.