I'm from Venezuela so if there's something wrong with my english, i'm sorry.

The reason why i registered is because i've been feeling "weird" for the most part of my life... Probably when i was around 12 and now i'm 25. I remember always feeling like i didn't belong anywhere and there was also depression, really big depressions that almost killed me when i was younger. I even tried to commit suicide at one point but nothing happened. I've been very sexual since i was 12 and also used to get very mad and yell at my parents and sisters... it was really horrible. I really tried to change my habits and tried to be more open to people and there was a little improvement but i still feel i need help... cause there are days when i wake up and feel so much sadness that can even take my breath away, literally... and some other days when i wake up and all i wanna do is to have sex or i get into a new plan, activity and i never ever finish it...

I haven't even been able to work... i've last no more than 3 days at any work... which makes me feel very bad about myself.

Went to the psycologist a couple of times, fist when i was around 17 and based on our first encounter he wants me to take pills for depression and i never went back. Got scared... Then i went to another one but that just went wrong... he offered me sex and i did it... anyway... 7 years later and i went to the psychiatrist a couple of weeks ago and she asked me a bunch of questions and she sent me that day to the psycologist for teraphy (they work together) but she gave me these pills called Risperidone 2mg she told me to take one every night and i've been doing it but i stopped taking them yesterday. Why? i had sex and the orgasm felt really like... nothing. And there was no "liquid" if you know what i mean... i just felt weird...

Anyway... She didn't told me i was bipolar or anything, i just think i could be (i've been doing research the past month) but i'm curious... why did she gave me that pill? it makes me feel stable and my nonstop thoughts aren't there anymore but i do feel sometimes like if i was kind of like a zombie and there's no sexual desire (i consider myself a pretty sexual person)... so... i don't know... is there anyone out there who has something to say? i'd really appreciate it. Thanks a lot for reading... i know everyone has issues with life. ..