I understand his point of view and I see how you are triggered when things get too close to the pain.
IF and that is a big if, you are with someone who is very patient and sensitive, it might be possible to work through intimacy issues over time.
Animals have a circle of awareness. When something is in that circle they know it is there and can detect if it is friendly or unknown. It quickly gets away from threats.
People have a circle like this too, but traumatic experiences can expand this circle even further so no one can go into the circle.
This is like behavior modification but depending on how sensitive you are and your husband is, this could take a little time or a long time.
First see if you can get to a point where you can talk about the possibility of trying experiments in intimacy where you increase intimacy up to your own comfort zone. If this agreement can be reached, proceed.
Start by holding hands and being together. This might be all you do for one night unless you feel more comfortable getting closer. Get him to agree that you call the shots when to move to more intimacy. [If your husband is not patient and just wants to jump in bed, this probably is not the course you would take.]
Suppose holding hands feels good and then you feel like hugging letting you initiate. This could be the first time you try or may take over a period of time.
Then at some point when you feel comfy and want to kiss him, let you initiate.
This can go to deeper levels like like lightly caressing, more intimate touching, all the time trying to stay in your expanding comfort zone over a period of time.
If you don't feel safe or your husband is aggressive, this could just trigger you. If he knows you are trying and sees progress maybe he would agree to this and be open minded.
A counselor could try to find common ground in the marriage and also advise you and him about possible paths of resolution.