I called a counselling hotline tonight because I needed to talk and couldn't contact T. It's not my first time phoning but this time I got a man who sounded so freaking disinterested I wanted to hang up. He addressed me by the wrong name throughout the conversation and couldn't remember what I said, asking me questions I've already answered and suggesting things I said were not helpful. For example, I told him I'm taking my A Levels this year (equivalent to the SATs) and later he asked me (twice) whether I was in middle school. I also mentioned that school was stressful but not the sole cause of my problems, and I study a minimum of 14 hours a day but find it so hard to concentrate due to my mental state. He then constantly reiterated that I will feel better if I study harder, but how on earth am I supposed to do that when I already tried my damnedest and have been having suicidal thoughts for the past 4 months? The most annoying thing was that he automatically assumed I was from a not-so-reputable school and even asked me where I attended. I don't understand why he needs to know this as it was not essential and the line was meant to be strictly anonymous (also especially since he quickly ended the call afterwards).

I've spoken to wonderful people on the other end before and I can just tell that they care. Some may not be professional counsellors but their dedication and sincerity are apparent. Why do people like this guy pick this job if they don't give a crap at all? People who dial the hotline are usually in need of emotional support and are very sensitive to indifference as such.