Hi! I am new to all of this so please forgive me if I get it all wrong!

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder type II back in 2006. For awhile, I hoped that I was incorrectly diagnosed or that it would go away. Wrong! It only got worse! I have been changing medications frequently for the past few years and have not come up with a good combination.

Over the summer, I was taken off my antidepressant (I had been on many different ones the last 12 years) and given an additional mood stabilizer (Geodon) on top of my lithium. This change did not go well for me and I ended up checking myself into a treatment program for a month. This truly felt like my lowest point.

I have been home now for a couple of weeks and I am on a new stabilizer (Latuda) with the lithium and several other meds. I just do not feel like myself. I don't feel depressed, but I don't feel happy. I feel very anxious and lonely. I guess the best way to describe it is I don't feel comfortable in my own skin.

I go back to my regular psychiatrist at the end of the month and I know he is going to want to change my meds around again. This makes me very scared after the last change we made. I know that I want to get better and I know I can feel better than this. I am just exhausted from changing meds all of the time and not knowing what the side effects will be. I have hope every time we make a change that I will get back to my old self. I am starting to wonder if this is even possible. It's been such a long time, I wonder if that person still exists.

Can anyone share their experiences on changing meds until they found the right combination? Any advice would be greatly appreciate. Thanks so much and I look forward to chatting with you all!