My hubby is friends with this kid(well just turned 21 but ya know). He's had the worst luck with relationships. Usually he talks to me or hubby about it.

I've tried talking him into counseling because there is just something off about him. It's like he has no filter and has no clue when he's offended someone until they actually get mad at him. When this has happened we've discussed what went wrong in the conversation. In his mind no one should get mad over an opinion no matter what it is. And he always points out I've never offended you or D(hubby). Neither one of us can get it through his head that we are not exactly normal. I've also told him yes you have offended me BUT I tell you when you are treading thin ice and explain why. He said that no one else takes the time to do that they just get mad.

Well he moved to be with this girl he met and 3 months later he's back because it didn't work out. We were talking about what happened and I told him sometimes it's hard finding the right fit for you. I told him that D was 35 and I was 30 when we met so he had plenty of time. Then he looks at me and says I wish D would die. Then we could be together because you are perfect for me and I love you. Then he pointed out how bad D's health is and asked how much longer I expected him to live.

Soooo we had to have a serious conversation about why that was inappropriate and scary. I told him that I needed to take a step back right now from the friendship. That he's 7 years younger than my baby brother and that I thought of our "relationship" more like a big sister/little brother thing. I told him that I SERIOUSLY think he needs some in depth counseling ASAP.

Like I said there is definitely something off about him and I truly don't know if he would try to hurt D or not. Even though I broke it down and explained everything to him he truly does not get why what he said scared me and ticked me off. He was just telling the truth so why does that bother me?

Now other than avoiding him like the plague is there anything I can do? Because of how he is he only has like 3 friends(including me and hubby) I really do feel bad giving him the cold shoulder but I don't know what else to do. I know when I've had a crush distance was the best thing to get me over it.

Should I tell D? D gets extremely paranoid and jealous(schizophrenia, trust issues etc..) and he doesn't have a lot of friends. I feel like it's damned if I do and damned if I don't. If I don't tell him and he finds out then he's going to be mad. If I tell him...well I don't see that going so well either. BUT D is unpredictable I could just as easily see him laughing it off or trying to help the kid move on to someone else.

Anyone been there done that or have a helpful suggestion?