It is as if the loneliness itself is a huge trigger to memories of being completely alone immediately after traumas took place. Like immediately after being raped, each time it happened, I was completely emotionally alone.

As for my son, he is only a phone call away at his fathers for half of each week.....not my ideal situation, but the best for him. Everything just seems harder to manage when he is not around because I lose focus on my motivator to keep on going.

I'm at work right now, doing a late shift. And it is frankly very triggering tonight with one client calling me horrible names(it is not his fault, he is paranoid schizophrenic, and needs constant support) but it is trying when already feeling bad.

I might go home early instead of working til 11.30. Hate to give in to this stuff though.