Hey guys,

I've not been on here as much lately, and I guess that's because I thought I was doing better. Today is the anniversary of my cousin being killed, we were really close especially when growing up as we were the same age and were in school together etc. I'm finding it really hard not to be triggered by all the grief and emotions that I am having to deal with today. It's such a sad and hard day, and I know that everyone in the family is grieving so I don't want to make a big deal about myself - it's not a day I should have any sort of attention on myself, today is a day for his Mum and his sister. So I guess I don't want to talk to anyone IRL about how bad I'm doing. I just feel like i'm slipping into that downwards spiral again, and I don't know how to keep myself okay.

Could really do with your hugs and support today my friends.

J x