Thanks for your replies, Perna and sister! Lots to think about there.

Perna you're right it is a different view looking in versus looking out. That thought in itself could be a few session!

Sister, like you, part of my struggle is that the things I hid behind, rasing my son (he moved 1,000 miles away a year ago), food, cigarettes, etc. have all fallen away and.. here I am... Who am I and NOW what do I do?!

Some days I feel like I fell asleep and woke up somewhere else and as someone else.