Although I am completely off klonopin, after 20+ years of use, I do think occasionally that life would be so much easier if I could go back on it. I know that I have sustained extensive brain damage from the crap but since I still don't sleep well at all and can never really feel relaxed, the thought of having a rather large dose of it and 'really' going to sleep and letting my body relax is a comforting thought.

It has been 19 months and 12 days since going cold turkey. I wonder if I will ever feel good again and not wish to be drugged. From what I have read, all these withdrawal symptoms that I still experience are the brain wanting that substance back. It got used to that over the years and is still screaming..."Give me more!". That is way oversimplified I realize, but it still astounds me and also is disturbing that my body/brain is still craving the benzo.

I have had some really dark days, and for some reason especially the last 3 weeks have been tough. Basically I became mentally disabled, lost my career and now it has affected my physical health. I am nearly housebound.

I just want to get healed and able to function like a halfway normal human being. The withdrawal symptoms mimic lots of illnesses, my doctor cannot tell the difference and neither can I. It is really scary. No doctor seems to have any answers so that leaves me holding the bag until things get better. I am seriously doubting that I am going to get better, so I think I may as well take a pill and feel better! I bet many would agree with me!