Quote:
Originally Posted by neutrino
I have a tendency to think that people think I'm really annoying or that they sort of hate me or something. Today I emailed a psychologist about meeting up (I haven't had a therapist in months now). We were supposed to meet up for the first time last Monday but her child got sick so she had to cancel. So yeah, I emailed her today to ask for another appointment but now I think she probably thinks I'm the most annoying person in the world (she hasn't replied yet by the way). I also wrote a message to a person I've gotten to know recently (she hasn't replied either). It was a short message where I was just asking her how she's doing. Now I, for some reason, think she probably thinks I'm bothering her and that she doesn't want me to contact her. I even feel like that when I'm posting things here.
I feel insufficient and inferior all the time. I feel like a burden as soon as I contact people or ask questions. As soon as I contact someone I have to contact (psychologists, teachers etc) I feel like I'm the last person they want to hear from. I spend quite a bit of time worrying if I've done something wrong or if I'm too intense or something. It feels like they're all judging me.
I don't know if this is caused by my social anxiety disorder, low self-esteem, a combination of both or something else. All I know is that it's freaking annoying and scary.
Can you relate to this? Why do I think people hate me all the time?
|
I know exactly how you feel. For the longest time, I felt this very same way. I never actually pin pointed what exactly made me feel that way, but the way I overcame it was to understand that in order to get things done, you must be assertive. Emailing or calling for another appointment with a T is a not a bad idea, and at times, you have to keep on them to get one scheduled. It can be hard to get in to see a T, and you're not to blame for keeping up with your responsibilities to get assistance. Remember, that there's always scenarios that can be worse.
I've been told plenty of times that it's an off day with my bipolar where I think everyone hates me or is mad at me. Just take a deep breath, and realize that you are not being annoying. You are just being responsible for your own well being. Real friends love to hear from each other, and you shouldn't fret having the contact with them that you do. All I hear is healthy relationships and responsibility. That's it.