I know what you are going through. I am old now but started being bulimic when i was in my teens after my mother died. I purged for 8 years. My eating disorder has reeked havoc in my life. I encourage you to find some sort of treatment. OA worked for me initially but not in the long run because I don't believe in god. PLEASE, take your disorder seriously. At 65 I have lost most of my teeth...can't eat right, can't talk right, purge with exercise. It's still kicking my but. But I feel optimistic. I can do it.