Hi browneyed_wreck, what you're describing sounds a lot like bipolar. I would suggest you mention this to your psychiatrist. They're not perfect and they do make misdiagnoses sometimes. (I was misdiagnosed as MDD for 15 years before finally being correctly diagnosed as bipolar type II.) The more data you can give them to work with the better.
From your description what's happening, whether it's bipolar or BPD or something else, is a cycling of moods that you can't control. Even if the up moods are pleasurable, them coming at the price of the darkness of the downs is not fun.
I really hope you will talk to your pdoc the next time you see him/her. If you want stability you're also going to have to make the commitment to stay on all your prescribed meds. That means giving up the illness-induced highs, but it also means having a chance for stability, maybe for the first time in your life.
Whatever you decide, I wish you luck, and I hope you'll keep posting here.
all the best,
Randy
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Dx Bipolar II 2014 -- currently in remission
Stay calm, be kind, have hope, love lots, and be well.
"Listen to the deep voice of your soul. Do not be distracted by the voice of your mind." -- Caitlin Matthews[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE]
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