Yes I think I'm having difficulty because I feel like I'm reverting back to childhood. I live at home and don't have my own car (I share one) so it's really hard to feel or act independent. Even when I had a job, I still had low self esteem because I was waiting tables and you have to have thick skin (or lots of alcohol) to deal with that kind of work.
Maybe vitamins could help. Yeah, I definitely think that sugar and chocolate are my go-tos bc they give instant highs...
I am not sure if I want to pursue a career working with kids. Sometimes I think I'd enjoy it and be good at it, but sometimes I'm not so sure.
I guess I'm impatient and stuck. I want to have a chance to try several different options before I have to choose, but I also desperately want to leave home and learn from being independent, and that will limit my choices of jobs.
This paradox gets so frustrating that I have SIs and feel pretty hopeless all the time. I can't really talk to anyone about it. Though maybe I should get a new therapist.
I kind of want a friend to talk to. Thanks. Sometimes this message board is the only place I can talk to people about my emotional life.