Quote:
Originally Posted by Depletion
I spent a lot of time mothering my own mother, and I often have feelings of wanting to take care of maternal figures, I feel this way about my own T, but she has good boundaries, and know's about my feelings, so I'm not worried that something will go wrong. But the fact that your T's boundaries have changed is a recipe for disaster. I think that you might need to end it.
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I am going to talk with her about it in a few days.. I hope. I stupidly always change when I go into the session. Blah.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CantExplain
I don't agree. Relationships evolve over time.
A troubled patient needs rigid boundaries in order to feel safe. But as the patient grows and becomes more stable, it is wrong to keep treating her as a child. That's what I think.
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I agree. I think the problem is I am very troubled yet I present an image that is very composed. I can fake being someone's mother, easily, and really seem like I feel all those things. But the bond that I create is hollow and my personal life continues to feel desperately hollow.
A common theme with therapists is "why are you here--what can I help you with? You're intimidating me because I'm jealous of how together you seem, yet you are asking me for help."
But it's all an act that I have learned and repeated for survival. Which makes it so hard to reveal the truth.
I have been abused by a T before and I wanted this one to be different. In many ways I know that she is... But there's also the part of me that just wants to repeat. To give and sacrifice endlessly... it is so enticing. I don't know whether this T would let that happen or not. I want to say she wouldn't. But at the same time, the real issues keep finding a way to disappear, never really talked about, even when I bring them up repeatedly.
But I think something in other people can't process that I'm hurt, I'm alone and needy, if I don't act like it. I'm trying to feel my real feelings lately I just don't know how to communicate them.