I met up with my best friend and her older brother yesterday to go eat and then we saw Gone Girl. It's been a while since I've been to the movies; this one was very good. I was happy to see them both. They both have their masters degrees and teach at the university level, so it can be difficult to talk to them sometimes. I know I shouldn't compare, but I can't help it, it seems. I feel pathetic next to my friend. I'm jealous, I'll admit it. I want to have my life together like they do.

Today there's supposed to be a family get together at my dad's house and I feel horrible. I almost feel like that's too much social interaction. I mean I held it together yesterday with my friend. But I'm always judged by various family members, and I can't take it. I'm always on edge around them and I feel like I'm barely keeping it together as it is. I wish I could afford to go to therapy again, I have a lot on my mind.