Hello everyone, thank you for taking the time to read this.. I recently found out that my boyfriend of about 20 months was holding on to a lot of secrets from his past. This wouldn't be a problem if it wasn't affecting the present, and our relationship. Because we are together 24-7 including at work we had gone on a break for 2 weeks for reasons outside of this post, not cheating or lies, just needing personal space.. We got back together and I found out that he was messaging other women on Kik and sending photos as well..the bathes messages and pictures were sent after we gor back together.. The most shocking part was not the "**** pics" but there was a picture of him wearing my bra, and referring to himself has a bisexual cross dresser.. So, this is what it started as... I confronted him about it and he says he used to cross dress but it was a long time ago, and that he only went back to that because he was hurting and the picture in my bra was old.. I told him I knew it wasn't old because it is my bra in the photo. He insisted that it was from the beginning of our relationship so I asked him to show me where he got the picture from if it was old.. he then showed me a website that had about 50 photos of him cross dressing in women's clothing and lingerie. At this point I am blown away and in shock..but the picture I had asked about was not in this mix.. so it made no sense to me and I asked where it came from.. after asking several times and telling him I just want to know the truth so I can try to process the whole situation he finally says he did it a few days earlier because of being lonely because of the break.. he said it made him do that.. this wasn't making sense to me because I couldn't understand why he would go back to cross dressing unless it was something he liked doing. over the next couple of days I couldn't stop thinking about it, trying to analyze it.. he said he isn't bi and doesn't like to cross dress so I was beyond confused, just wishing he would tell me then truth so that I would know how to move forward.. when I asked him multiple times if there was anything else, just to please come clean because his story wasn't making sense, he told me that his first sexual relationship was manipulative and he was forced to do a lot of things like cross dress or sexual acts with other men and that it was a very traumatic experience. So this was what he had to base all future sexual experiences off... so after begging and lie after lie (it's hard to explain all lies in detail, after so many even I can't keep them straight) he told me he dated someone after that first girl who was also into a lot of stuff including crossdressing and that he continued in that relationship. He said he spoke with the first girl after they had broken up, and into years later when we were together. He said he spoke to her and sent her sexual pictures up until the 8th or 9th month of our relationship. This is absolutely heartbreaking to me. So, at that point this is all I was told, true or not.. we went to a therapist and they said we shouldn't be together because he should be alone while he figures out who he really is and what he wants, but if we don't break up that he needs to be completely transparent so passwords and phone access completely open.. after the therapist a couple days later I wanted to move forward and find a way to trust him again so I looked through his computer and found explicit text message logs from months before we had gone on the break... my world stopped..i know he just sounds like a lying jerk from the information i have provided about these events, but outside of this he really is very generous and sweet.. anyways, i asked him what it was and he then said he has a problem.... he had been texting, messaging, and emailing explicit things at least back to the 13 month mark of our relationship. He is going back to the Therapist on his own to try and get help but I don't know what I should do. I love him so much, but I don't know how to trust him anymore. Now that he said he has an addiction I feel that it all makes more sense, or maybe it is just a cop out, I'm not sure. I am fearful that I will stay and be hurt in the end, but I am also afraid to lose what we have because it really isn't all bad.. maybe I am naivel hopefull. I am looking for any advice.. how do I move forward in my relationship without putting up too much of a wall that there is no point in staying.. do I shut off all physical contact? Do I nurture the relationship in a normal way and just continue to remind him that I have not forgotten and try to find ways to help him work on the problem? This is all very confusing and hurtful to me, I just don't know what I should be doing now. Feel free to send me a private message or reply publicly.