Jane, you are very expressive. You are trying to express the most painful experience a Human can have--being alone as a young child-not is difficult to express because It is difficult to experie.ce. all of us have experienced It for at least an instant--we same hungry infancy and mom is in the ahower Fonsi.g ao quickly she comes out cold and tasting of shampo. Some of us were raised with "poisonous pedagogo" ie "let the baby cry herself to sleep or she will be spoiled". Some were lneglected, abandoned, orphaned. All of us now some degree of childhood abandonment and it is so painful none of us want to remember It. All our psychological defenses come I.to play. So...a sensitive articulate person wis describe that feeling of deep despairing earth shatteri.g loneliness and we go blank, dull, stupid, get busy, Hawk, tell you Its notgood for you to ruminate, Scott, belittle, shame, mock, get angry or fall asleep. hen of ciudad you feel like a bad child, because you have dared to come to the heart of the natter, for all of us. And no one wants to remember. It hurts too much. Better to make margaritas and sing or go bomb a un building where children sleep. This is the **** of the world, our exquisite sensitivity and our total dependence and vulnerability in childhood. It needs to be talked about, our Human condition, but It is difficult because it is painful.

Perhaps reminders of your connection with your child can help.