Well, if you must get to know someone first, may I suggest getting to know them rather quickly as opposed to dragging things out? That is, don't send friendship signals from the very beginning as this lays the groundwork for a friendship and oftentimes when this happens, a female will only look at you as a friend. I hate to say it, but a woman oftentimes knows from the get-go whether or not a guy is going to be only a friend or if she sees him in a sexual light. If she thought of you in a relationship sort of way from the beginning, she wouldn't have any problems jumping from a friendship into a relationship. When a female says that she doesn't want to ruin the friendship, take that to mean that she doesn't see you as a partner and doesn't have those sorts of feelings for you. And some people are just naturally flirty with everyone, even if they don't have those sorts of feelings for the other person. I realize that it takes you awhile before you can tell if you really like someone, but given that you've been repeatedly friend-zoned, perhaps it is time to try something a bit different. It IS ok to date someone for awhile before you figure out if you really like them. Dating is sort of the getting to know you stage of the relationship, and people don't date with the intention of making a friend. All it takes is that one little spark of interest in her, maybe you like something about her personality, her looks, how she's kind, how you two have things in common, really, whatever. Its not necessary to definitely decide that you *LIKE* someone before dating them and getting to know them.