Like you, I worked with two other excellent therapists. The first retired after we were together for about a year and a half. She referred me to her partner and I gave it a shot but left after about two or three months. Nice guy but there was no comfortable connection between us. I was in the midst of a very deep depression and knew I needed to find a new therapist. I had two or three sessions with three other therapists and knew pretty quickly that the connection wasn't right. On the fourth try, I found my second therapist and worked with her for two to two and half years. She was excellent and I was very sad to leave her, but life circumstances lead to me having to move across the country to care for elderly parents.
When I arrived out west, I started looking for a new therapist. It has taken me almost a YEAR to find a new therapist that I feel that I can work with. I almost gave up and thought that there wasn't something seriously wrong with me and that I'd never be able to feel a connection with a therapist again. I did "try out" sessions with, get this, TEN different therapist before I settled on my current therapist. The try out sessions were usually two or three sessions, and a few were one . . . and one I wanted to seriously walk out of but held my tongue, was polite and stated I wasn't interested in scheduling another appointment.
Some of the one's I saw were too quick to decide what "my" goals in therapy needed to be, one wanted to tell me all about her personal life (including every illness and mistreatment she had ever experienced at the hands of medical professionals and how "angels" have saved her life, one wanted to start EMRD sessions as soon as the next session after meeting me once, one wanted me to "pick out a journal" from a pile of new books to immediately start my gratitude journal (I JUST met her and wasn't ready to talk about gratitude yet! LOL), one immediately (after me talking for six minutes about my current issues--I'm serious, just six minutes--I looked at my watch) wanted to tell me what was wrong with me and how she was going to break down my defenses and get to the seat of my problems and then build me back up again--no thanks!, and a few were just too stiff and humorless.
I was about to give up when I decided to make one more phone call. I stepped into my current's therapist's office and just knew she was the right one. She listens intently, has a wonderful sense of humor but doesn't let me use humor to avoid what we're talking about, holds good boundaries, is gentle but persistent, doesn't avoid talking about the "relationship" and where it currently is for me and lets me know how it's going for her, and she never seems overwhelmed, in a rush or surprised or shocked by what I want to talk about. Oh, and she's got grey hair which means a lot to me because I did NOT want to see someone younger than me who had no idea what life was like at my age. In other words, she's got a lived in body and she's comfortable with it
If you're not feeling heard, I'd encourage you to give a few other therapists a try. I especially think this is true if you've given her feedback on her style and her response is that you might want another therapist. I know that if I said that to my current therapist, she would listen to my feedback, tell me that she understood or ask for clarification and then she'd work to be more responsive. Best of all, she'd check in with me on a regular basis to see if the changes were working for me. Some therapist are willing to change their style to fit the client's needs rather than expect the client to fit their style or move on. What you're asking for is really not that unreasonable. Hope whatever you decide works out!