Hi Shan, your mom is abusive, I'm sorry
Just with.........."my mom was hitting me in the past and stuff", and with some of the things you've said inc previously, I'd say emotionally abusive...........and if people are saying that............
The meds though.........sounds like she completely jumped the first step of understanding or finding out what was wrong and supporting you in working through that, and making some of the changes for you that you needed??? Then with depression and suicidal feelings sometimes the first step for the persons immediate safety needs to be the doctor if............not necessarily saying that might have been the case but...............
Still it is good that you're seeing a T now, it sounds like that might have been what you really needed before and a mom who wasn't abusive.
Sometimes it can be really hard to see or believe if you're in an abusive relationship/situation. The abusive person can have you blaming yourself, feeling you're at fault/you've provoked them/you deserve it, making excuses for them/their behavior. And maybe you're finding it hard to accept that your mom is abusive, afterall mom's aren't "supposed" to be abusive, are they??
Do you think you could get her to go along to some therapy sessions with you, to "open her eyes" to her behaviour and help her understand/learn how to change her behaviour???

Alison