Quote:
Originally Posted by JustShakey
Sweetie, have you ever had a male T? I think having a male T essentially ensured that I would sidestep the worst of the maternal transference issues.
It's not good that your T is not open to discussing your experiences with your abusive T. You need to talk about it. I find it really hard to talk about previous T, but my T encourages it and stops me when I start blaming myself. I think it helps too that he knows her and worked with her while I was seeing her.
But really, you do need to talk about this. I just can't stress enough how damaging this is. For me anyway, it reenforced all the negative beliefs about my right to my own personhood that have been drilled into me my whole life. If your T won't listen to you, you will have to try again with someone else. There's always something to fight for, and there's lots of other Ts out there. You just have to find the right one for you. I got lucky second time around. It might be the third or the fourth time for you, but it will happen. Don't give up on yourself!
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Aww thanks Shakey!!!
Re:male T, i don't know that it would go better, I think i actually had paternal transference for ex T, bc I was literally terrified of her before every session and it went much the same as interactions with my dad (she did complain exasperatedly that she was having to parent me.)
But, I do want to make it work with current T, since she's the best option in my area, and I really do like her, I know she will come around if I draw more attention to it, I'm just scared. I'll try to remember your suggestions and i'll be careful if I start hearing lines from ex t's playbook though ><
I'm going to keep working to change these beliefs and it's so encouraging to know that you have been there with these feelings and eventually still could find a great working relationship.
Might try to update soon.
