Hi Nicole, are you thinking you want to hurt yourself? What exactly are you feeling bad about? You don't have to say. Guilt is awful. After my cat died I felt so guilty about her illness, not being able to do enough. Before that I went through a weird phase of hating myself for everything I felt I did wrong or said wrong, etc. It was awful. I hope you can forgive yourself, but this is a good place to talk to other people with the same problems. Good luck. (((Hugs)))