I am an abuse survivor (sexual abuse). From what you are saying, it seems like you are NOT refusing sex altogether, rather you are refusing certain sexual acts. Is this correct? If so, your husband is being an @ss, to put it nicely. You don't *owe* him jack squat!

Heck, I like kinkier things in the bedroom, but somehow I end up with guys who only like it very vanilla. Their excuse is "I don't like that" or "I don't want to do that". Who am I to say that they OWE me what I want?!?! Dare I say that would be abusive?

There are a LOT of things in the world of sex that are normal which many people do not enjoy. Is it right to force these acts on somebody else because the larger consensus is that it is "normal" so you should like it too? Heck no!!!