I will try to keep this short, my past posts kind of reveal details of this relationship.

I have been in a 2 year on and off relationship with someone who I fell in love with fast. He was fast moving and was "amazing" in the beginning, when times are great he is exactly who I want in a partner, when times are bad- they are bad and he is nowhere to be found and runs away. My problem is I can't find the strength to get out, I'm scared of what could happen, and I'm also scared of losing something that could be wonderful.

My friends and family know everything and are "scared for me" they do not want me involved with this guy and see him as a manipulative controlling man. I can't argue because I have shared a lot with them, but of course they don't see it when times are good or what I see. Anyway, most recently he broke up with me saying that I wasn't the girl worth putting 2 feet in- during our relationship it was never me doubting him or us, it was always him flirting with exes or being less than truthful about where he was/what he was doing etc., he never cheated but he did meet women during our month long "breaks" which he justifies. I was just moving on from him, finally picking the pieces up and he comes back into my life last week full force. He drove 12 hours from Florida on my door step to tell me he loved me and coulne't live without me, that everything he nagged on didnt mean anything and that I had everything he wanted and needed. He gave me a very expensive diamond band as a "promise" and reached out to my parents through e-mail professing his love and appologizing for not living up to the man I deserve to be with. This was all very overwhelming for me, but I couldn't resist all of this.

I sort of feel it was a control tactic, or way to suck me back in, but now I am in too deep as I saw him for 4 days straight, an amazing 4 days with the man I fell in love with, have a ring that I don't feel like I want to keep but he wont take back, and am hiding all of this from my friends and family. He has re-stationed to my town at the end of the month and I am terrified. I want to believe he has changed, as he claims to realize that I am the one for him all of a sudden, he said when he started the relationship he was just out of a relationship himself and just wasn't sure what he wanted but selfishly didnt want to lose me. I am torn between feeling like it is apparant I deserve to be with someone who knows they want to be with me and doesnt play games for 2 years, and feeling like myabe THIS time he has really changed and "seen the light." I don't like to base decisions on what others think, but when I have a majority of my friends and family saying they are scared for me that he is dangerous and a manipulator and want nothing to do with him- I worry I am living with rose colored glasses on. I see the issues, but I also see the man that provides me with a lot. I'm afraid I have too much resentment and hurt/pain to let him back in. From the beginning he always found little things to "judge" me on, for instance he once told me I "lacked substance" because he felt I was a cookie cutter girl - referncing the fact that I got my under grad, grad degree and have had a very successulf govt job...he found pictures of me partying in my 20s durnig college and basically told me that he needs someone with more substance who isn't a party girl and had to "struggle" through life (I paid for my education and havbe lived on my own since 20). He has also had several drunk episodes where he has disrespected me in front of friends.... what am I thinking and why am I not seeing this man is not safe? I am falling for all of his words, a ring, and his efforts of driving and reaching out to my family. I am overwhelmed because I can't find the power and strength within to say no.

Side note: I also hang on to his past because past is a great indicator of future, right? I actually never let it get in the way of becoming close to him until recently when I see a pattern. He is 30 with 2 children (different mothers/diff country- he's military), he has been divorced, engaged, and seems to have a string of back to back relationships where cheating or not being faithful was a reason for the break ups... he has "womanizing" tendencies and is very charming. Ive caught him sexting exes while we were tog and his excuse was that he was bored he apologized, we broke up and he would come back begging forgiveness for his err, now his reasons were he admits he wasn't all in during the relationship with me, and he wasnt sure what he wnated but now he is ready to commit. I am 31, independent own a home, financially stable, have my bachelor and masters, and truely amazing family and friends around me. He has gotten into arguments with my best friend whom he only knew for a few months and because he disagreed with how she was speaking to her boyfriend he lost it and told her what a horrible woman she was (in an intimidating way). I am genuinly a good person, I care too much about others, and I love deeply- I see through people and into their "souls", I know that may sound dramatic, but I see through their bad to their good and I see this man is just very messed up from some things that have happened. He is sweet and charming to me, he takes care of me and my house, and cares about my life--- but the examples above show that those are all surface things and he runs away when I do "something" that he doesn't agree with.