Today I had to go into hospital for some treatment for something else, and I was dreading it. I knew I would be stuck in a room for 4 hours with strangers and I just hoped that no one would talk to me. I took my kindle, my tablet and my phone and kept my head down.

The first few people came in and I tried to avoid all talk, and to be fair one guy just wouldn't shut up so it was easy to blend into the corner. But once he had left there were 3 of us women, the other 2 were older, and I thought they were probably thinking I was so rude. So I took a deep breath and when they looked at me I decided to join in.

When they left, 2 older men came in and I made a point of saying hello and we were all talking for about half an hour. It was easier because we were all going through the same thing, but I made myself join in.

When I left I actually felt quite nice. Like something had lifted a little. I'd had some interaction with people and had to be nice. I felt like even though I had to force myself to do it, because I was worried what people would think of me, it wasn't so bad after all. I know I do myself no favors by hiding away, and sometimes I just have to. But I know now that I CAN do it.

I've got an appointment with my doctor next week to go and actually be truthful. Not pretend that things aren't that bad, but actually tell it how it is. I don't know what I expect the outcome to be but I've got to do something about it.