I found out I had BP at the age of 14. Well back at that age I was never very good at math. I never could explain to anyone else why I was bad at math to anyone. All my teachers wanted to say it was from a lack of trying. The truth was I was just really bad with math. I used my BP has a way to gain the pitty of others mainly my teachers and my family so I wouldn't have to tell the truth about my failing grade in math. The truth was when it came to math I was stupid. I was good in History but in math I couldn't do it. I would get so pissed at home when it came time to do math homework. I would throw my pencil and books when I would spend too long on one problem or no matter how many people explained it to me I just couldn't get. Well fast forward 10 years to where I am now. I work two part time jobs and my relationship is in the trash can but not in the dumpster yet. My fiance complains all the time about how I used my BP as a "crutch" to get through life. I finally opened up to him today that I really do. I use it as a way of not having to tell people that at my age that the highest level of math my brain can do is 5th or 6th grade math. He said people wouldn't talk behind my back if I admitted the truth to them. I told him people would make fun of me more if they knew the truth. I hate using it as a way to get me out of doing things that require hard math but at the same time for the last 10 years it has gotten me this far. People feeling sorry for me and helping me even more than before. I need to know how to stop using it and finally come clean to those that I know love me and will be willing to help me that I have always used my BP as a way to never have to ask for help or to have to explain to them the real reason I failed math so much in school. I finished high school with a D average but again that was due to me using my BP so my teachers would give me the extra help without me having to say anything to them about my brain not being able to process hard math problems. My fiance wants me to get a full time job but I know math is a huge requirement in a lot of full time workplaces. How do I face my fear and stop using a "crutch" to get through life. Please do not judge me. I already am having a hard time asking this online. I feel a tad bit better asking people who don't know me verses a T because that means I don't have to see the possible shock and laughter that may come from this.