What you've done in the past is what you knew how to do. It is not impossible to learn to do things differently from how you've done in the past. At least you recognize that you've "built" an unsatisfying life. Just the fact that you use the word, "built," means you are taking some responsibility for how your life is. It would be worse if you thought all your problems were due to you being victimized by others. So you've empowered yourself with the notion that the shape of your life is under your control. That's huge.

You don't have to keep doing things in the way that you've done things in the past. Habits are real hard to break, but it's not impossible.