You are right -- and it all sounds good on paper, but when it comes to making myself carry through, it's another matter entirely. I not only did not extricate myself from the group, but I have now agreed to help with something in a very specific way. It's only a few hours worth of work, but I am still massively annoyed with myself for doing this.

It's like I think I have to do things for people in order to be liked -- even though I don't really care if these people like me or not. Really, I don't get it - it's like having two parts of my brain, a rational side that sees this thing logically and thinks 'oh, this is not for you, just say no,' and another part that actually does the talking for me...

I've heard good things about 'when I say no, I feel guilty' so I think I will look for that in the library or order a copy.