I hope you're seeing a good psychiatrist and getting therapy at the very least.

I wish I could help you more, but maybe knowing you're not alone will make you feel a little better. I recently filed for disability because my last three jobs ended badly and I realized I can't work anymore, even when I'm stable and all is well. Too much anxiety and distress.

Your situation is different. You're in the middle of a longstanding depressive episode, which can be helped with treatment. It won't always be like this, and I bet you won't have to file for disability because you really are capable of holding down a job. If you weren't, you probably would have gone out on medical leave or quit (or been fired) by now.

Please, if you're not being treated for your depression, get help! And if you are, you need to see your doctor for an adjustment in your meds and perhaps some additional therapy, because no one should have to live the way you're living right now. Good luck.