I feel much the same way. I have blamed others for a long time, said they don't see me as the awesome person I honestly think I am, claimed they are shallow etc. But it also depends on me, on how I feel about myself and my own standards.

I don't imagine other people will be attracted to me. When other girls talk about this or that guy or how they flirt with people it seems sort of like a hypothetical situation for me, I cant really imagine anyone wanting to flirt with me or finding me attractive, I always assumed that if someone would fall for me (which I think they should) they would fall for my personality and the looks would just come later. This is probably not a good way to look at it but I still do. And even so I compare myself to women constantly, think things like "she's uglier/fatter/has a worse sense of fashion than me, and she's with a guy" and it makes me feel awful. I think my own standards might be a problem thought, I mightbe too proud to admit it but I do also care about looks, wouldnt want a guy I was embarassed to intrudice to my friends. I have a truly beautiful friend who is with a guy who has below average looks, and she is kind of my hero, I suppose, for that because she is so proud of their relationship and you can see how she really loves him. I think some of my issues come from being dumped by my boyfriend, it's more than a year and a half ago and it was completely right, we didnt fit together, but honestly (and I am ashamed of this) a big part of me thought I was too good for him and too pretty for him in many ways, and so the fact that HE dumped ME wrecked my self-esteem. I started thinking "if I can't even hold on to a guy like him, whom all my friends and even my family tell me is below me and is in no way particularly atractive, how am I ever going to find love?"

And I suppose one of the evil truthts is that we are all quite shallow like that, without wanting to admit it, maybe unless we really get to know someone first. And guys your age can be quite cruel (girls too, clearly, but they don't look at you THAT way even if they can be meaner) and just see looks or a cleavage or whatever, personally I have just settled for having to wait until people stop being so shallow but I am 23 now and feel like I will wait until I get old, so I suppose I also need to either accept that I am unattractive or make myself feel attractive somehow. Confidence is key, and I have confidence in a lot of areas, but my looks is NOT one of them, and so I find myself in the eternal role of wingwoman as I am friends with so many beautiful women. I think I have internalized and accepted that my role is to "surrender" to them, even if I like a guy I wouldnt dream of making a move if he was interested in one of my friends or she in him, as I always consider myself below them. Since I was a teenager guys have asked me about my friends: Did I see where that one went, what is her name, is she single? What are her interests? And so forth. I don't think those guys understand how much it hurts when they show you so clearly that they are interested in your friend and you are just "in the way" but might know something they can use, regardless of how polite they are. So I am starting to feel that is the person I will just always be, and it's not a good feeling.