i dont know what happened
i just started crying
and i just cant stop
i mean it will settle with random tears falling
and then i will just burst into tears again
even as i rite this
it started about an hour ago
all i that is in my head
it lonliness
the fear
not having a real live family
i hate them
i dont want them
but i want my bestest friend in the whole world
who i chose to be my family to stay
but shes not come the end of aug she will leave
shes going away and she wont be back
and yes go ahead reassure me about staying in touch and
then maybe go check how many ppl actually really stay in touch
i miss bf
his friend got shot a couple days ago just down from bf's house
im scared i will lose him too
im scared i will never see him again

im planning things i really shouldnt
but i need to make things stop
this pain
its too much
its not ok
it will never be ok
nothing is ok
no matter what anyone says
i will never be alright