I'm new in AA, started going about six months ago but have not had continuous sobriety. About a month ago, I finally asked someone to sponsor me and she has been great. It is incredibly difficult for me to let other people in, but I have been opening up to her and felt very thankful and positive about this. Just within the last week, I have started to think that with her help, maybe I could stay sober and that it is okay to let myself depend on her.

Tonight she texted me that her daughter killed herself. It is so horrible! I feel so badly for her and her family. Especially since I have been suicidal at times myself. In fact, a big reason why I want to stop drinking is because I can get into a really negative, suicidal place when I drink.

I just don't know what to do. I feel powerless to help her. She asked me to find someone else to be a temporary sponsor. I completely understand this. But there is a part of me that feels sorry for myself - just when I was opening up and developing a relationship where I could trust someone and let them help me....now it is taken away.

But then of course I feel terrible for making this about me. Such conflicting feelings!