Im 24 so im a little bit older than you. My mom AND dad used to hit me too until I turned about 15. I could be in a room with my mom for longer than 10 minutes without fighting with her. She used to pull my hair, yank my arm, push me against walls, squeeze & slap my face, "spank" me with a belt, kick me, scream in my face, smack my head, throw me around, and talk to me like she thought i was a moron. My dad has hit me with a belt, thrown me on the ground & against a wall, pinched me hard enough to leave a bruise, pushed me, hit me with objects, shoved my face in a plate of food, ect... One time when I was 5 or 6, I spit on him and instead of punishing me like a mature adult, he grabbed me and spit right in my eyes.

I was also made-fun-of in elementary and middle school for stupid crap like having glasses and frizzy hair. So I was humiliated all the time. Either by kids at school or by my parents yelling at me or spanking me in front of people.

Anytime teachers or any type of authority figure would yell at me, I would cry. I couldnt control it. I would also get nervous and embarrassed around older women. When I turned 13, I started feeling romantic attraction to them.... And I sometimes felt like older men were going to hit me or hurt me for some reason.

So... you and I have a LOT of similarities. I grew out of the "crying when being yelled at" thing when I got a little bit older. Im sure you will too. I absolutly agree that hitting children is abuse. That is no way to disciplin anyone! I barely talk to my parents anymore. They try hard to talk to me, and I do when I have to, but other that I hardly tell them anything. I think they feel guilty. Im to the point in my life where I am ready to get some therapy and work through these issues. Mainly intimacy issues and social anxiety. I moved out when I turned 18 with a friend. My advice to you is to get some therapy as soon as you can so you can work through your feelings. I wish I would have gone sooner than later.

Just know that you have a right to be angry and nothing was your fault.