I still know I SHOULD discuss it and he might bring it up himself because of the situation surrounding it. The appointment with the doctor is this morning and I still don't know exactly where I am going. My plan is to go to one of the land marks around where he said the place was and watch for his car to bring the other people and see if I can figure out where they go (again, small town. Chances are high I will see him/them). At that point, he is going to either remember that he never told me how to get there or he wont.

I am not sure which will be worse. If he remembers and says something or simply still doesn't remember me at all. I will avoid any conversation regarding it at that time COMPLETELY as we will be in public and I know I am so close to breaking into tears constantly right now. BUUUUUT, the reschedule appointment from Monday is today at 5, soooooo I don't know what that will look like if he realized he forgot me and says something. I have promised to be honest with him, but I never thought about it having to DO WITH HIM. I don't know if I can be honest with him being the cause of my current pain level. I can't stand for people to be hurt and my number one priority in life is to avoid that happening or having anything to do with causing it.

This is going to be a wild roller coaster ride today and the interaction with the therapist is only one bump in what was already going to be a completely nerve racking week from Monday thru Thursday. I am half way through it though and I am still typing.

Thanks all for being here. I appreciate knowing there are others out there that do understand.