(( sister ))

As my T told me when I said I don't think I'm doing well, talking enough, etc.. "You are where you need to be.".

You are pushing him away right now with your thoughts and worries about what he's thinking. But you can't know what he's thinking until you ask him and he tells you.

Falling right into it.. is a good thing. Connection is there or it wouldn't happen. But it is scary too.

Going round and round in circles is ok. Frustrating, but ok. And now that you see it, you aren't doing it in ignorance, but with awareness and that's a step toward resolution!

Take this post with you.. then you won't be blank, you'll have a place to start. See where it goes from there. Or maybe explore 'shame' and take some thoughts on that to your next session; there is always more to learn about a topic, so yes it's all still relevant; it's a continuum.

I think you're still missing him. It is so hard. That darn time of disconnect where worry and insecuirty creeps in. Tell him about that, too.

So now what? Write a new letter about what's goind on right now. Keep focusing on Tuesday and your reconnection with him. Be good and kind and gentle to you.