Thank you. I wouldn’t say we have the ‘ideal relationship’ because I don’t think that exists and I think every great relationship is unique in its own special way but our relationship is ‘ideal’ for me because as someone with ADHD, Asperger’s and OCD Hailey (my Wife) doesn’t just accept my disabilities, she understands them and loves me regardless of them. I grew up with an abusive Father that constantly put me down for having disabilities and called me a ****up and it played with my head and made me hate myself for a long time. My Sister and my old girlfriend/best friend were two of the only people I felt like I could trust when I was young because a number of people that were supposedly my friends didn’t want anything to do with me after they found out about them and it made me feel like a freak.

My Wife was the first person to treat me like a human being after I told her about my disabilities and it didn’t make her look at me any differently. Her eldest (my step daughter) has Autism and after she was diagnosed with it my Wife dedicated a lot of time to researching Autism and other disabilities on the spectrum and she currently runs a support group for parents with children with disabilities which has been very successful this year. I know from reading about other women that are married to guys with disabilities it can be a challenge and I have a chemical imbalance on top of it but my Wife is very caring, understanding and supportive and she is my biggest fan when it comes to music. My Wife has Endometriosis and some other rare diseases and she often suffers from chronic pain and some days I feel useless because I can’t really do anything to help her but she says it is the little things I do that mean the most.

I hope you and your husband can sort everything out and I am glad to hear that your marriage hasn’t been as bad as it was when you created this thread. I can only imagine it must have been difficult for you being married to him at times back when he was a soldier in the military because he would have been gone quite a lot and you would have been worried about him. My Great Uncle was a soldier too and we were close and he lost both his legs in World War II and the stories he told me about the war were very graphic and horrible. He struggled to talk to other people about his emotions too and that made it hard for my Great Auntie at times because he would shut down whenever they were having serious conversations and wouldn’t let her in. I remember her telling me him going to war when he was young turned him into a different and he was more affectionate, warm and open before that but she still loved him.

Is it possible your husband is like this and has been affected by some of the things he has seen in the past?