I'm so sorry you're going through this. I don't know if you and your boyfriend are serious or if you think you might have children together some day.

Having sex with his bio mother over the course of ten years and finding it extremely pleasurable because it's so wrong makes me worry that he's lost all track of what a proper boundary might be.

If you want to stay with him, you would be wise to talk to a therapist about this, someone who is more knowledgeable than the folks here. Don't get me wrong, there is an amazing amount of knowledge and wisdom and experience here, but your situation is unusual.

This is my concern ... and I might be wrong ... he's gotten used to breaking a huge societal and biological boundary. He hasn't stopped in ten years. He finds it exciting and mind-blowing because it's so wrong. What's next? Your sister? Your best friend? Nieces and nephews? Any children you might have?

I'm extremely open-minded about sex and I consider very few things perverted as long as it's consensual. But your boyfriend is engaging in on-going consensual perverted incestuous behavior. I wouldn't expect him to confine it to just his mom if she becomes unavailable. He gets off on the wrongness of it. You had better be careful here.

If you intend to stay with this guy, please get some expert help, so you know how to properly handle this. He obviously needs help, too, but if he goes only to please you, it could drive his behavior deeper underground.

Getting hand jobs from his mom is not okay. Most child sex abuse starts with touching, not full-blown intercourse. It's not okay to cross that boundary just because it feels good. Honestly, I don't think you can trust this guy to know the difference between right and wrong, abuse and not-abuse, not after ten years of this behavior.

Quite frankly, my first impulse is to tell you to run from this guy as fast as you can. I wouldn't say that if he'd disclosed sex had taken place in the past and it's stopped and he feels upset about it or viewed it as something wrong and to be avoided. But it's been ten years, it's on-going, he has no intention of stopping and he really likes it. You know, he is cheating on you ... with his mom. I would leave as fast as I could. But that's a decision you have to make yourself.

My wish you the best in this sad situation.