Hi Life, It sounds like you're finding it really tough right now
And you know me I'm not going to just be saying "That is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.", because that kind of dismisses just how hard a time you're having right now, how hard it is to cope with things, how hard it is to hold on right now???
But the problems.............do you think we could narrow those down into symptoms of.........depression, low self esteem............????
And then maybe not as much a matter of 101 things to try to deal with, to try to focus on, to drag you down..............and some real solid things to try to work with/through???
And you know it is possible to work through things like depression, like low self esteem, like.........
Maybe you haven't quite managed to find something that "hits home" yet, but the more you try........?? And I know you have been trying...........perhaps if you could put out of your mind all the unhelpful advise you've had from different T's and try to reflect on just one slightly helpful thing from each............put those together and try to focus on them.........kind of like developing your own personal tool box of things that might help, personal to you.
And CBT, maybe you could guide that in a direction to help you more?? e.g. when putting together actual evidence that may "logically" challenge a belief.............well maybe the evidence there isn't really significant enough to you personally...........maybe you could be thinking "outside of the box" and it's totally different evidence you need to be looking for.........as much moulding the CBT to suit your needs. I know there's a lot more to CBT than that but.............
But the way you're feeling right now............
The self esteem.........could you for now "borrow", even if you're not feeling it, other people's "voices", as in plenty of us feel you're more than worthy, and your appearance........well plenty of people are going to/have really rated your appearance up there.
The constant thoughts............what do you think distractions, talking them out or challenging them one by one???
But if they're/everything is overwhelming then maybe hotlines/crisisline, or/and you know you can turn to us for support/to lean on. Because you know we/I really do care.

Alison