on thursday I thought this was a bad moment. but actually since then every day has gotten a little worse. how come it's going so quickly? am I doing this?
is there anything I could do right now to prevent this from happening? I don't want this to happen.

I was totally fine last week. now I am back to sleeping excessively long, avoiding eye-contact and moving really slowly.

okay, I will stop the drinking.
maybe cleaning my apartment will help. sometimes I feel better after doing that.
I cooked a nice meal for myself today, I bought flowers and put them on the table and I went running. did that to do something that makes me feel things are good and normal.
there are other things I should get done but there comes the pressure. so maybe one at a time…
maybe… I will try writing.
T also said I should get something to do that is not work-related.