It took me so long to leave. I had convinced myself that I successfully had kept my kids safe - until the day they called me from my son's high school to report that he had written a blog entry that described my being abused when he was younger and that he had considered suicide then. That was it - I might not protect myself , but my kids!!
I wish I had had all the advise about the emergency plans. Before I had really decided when to leave , I started stockpiling stuff ( like new silverware, and new towels, and LOL, tampons) , tucking it away for when I could actually leave. I even packed some special Christmas ornaments separately. It gave me a sense of some power over the situation at the time- and really came in handy when I left with $400.00 , no credit card and a daughter. I don't know what can help for you right now - just know to keep from being isolated.
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