When I was in that state of mind, I found it helpful to write anonymously to the Samaritans. They can't intervene directly but they did help me through a tough time Samaritans | Samaritans . Also, is there an Alanon organization nearby that might be helpful to you? From what I have read, it is their problems, and not yours. I hope that you can find some support. Please, if it gets too bad, get to an emergency department.