I have two questions in one and I really don´t know how to do in this matter. I hope you in here have some advice to give me. I´ve been e-mailing my T between the sessions and she has said that she thinks the e-mails are interesting and she always brings stuff from the e-mails into discussion during sessions.

But in the last session she said that she thought that one part of my last e-mail made her feel that I hinder her from expressing some things to me and that I in some way control her in what she can and can not say to me in therapy. It made me feel stupid as my intention wasn´t at all to make her feel that way but to explain certain things in a context.

I now feel hesitant about continuing e-mailing her. (It´s not some kind of demand from her side that I e-mail her but more my own decision to do so). If I don´t e-mail her I know she will ask me why and on the other hand I don´t want to e-mail her and just bringing up complaints.

My second question is about telling or not telling my T about stuff that happened during the last session. As she feels that my e-mail in some way hinder her from expressing certain thoughts I think that if I now point out things that annoyed me she perhaps reacts in the same way.

She knows I have difficulties with expressing feelings and even if she probably wasn´t aware I got offended by her asking me if I couldn´t look happy in a certain situation during the session. Perhaps I "should" have looked happy or more happy but should she really ask for it?

I also got offended by her asking me if me telling her an insight really was an insight or if I just said so. This made me feel that she doesn´t trust me and want to test me if I tell the truth.

In some way I think it´s just me reacting to the fact that I easily feel offended or mistrusted and because of what she said about my e-mail I think I should perhaps just ignore this and see what happens next session.

It´s not that big a question that I´m thinking of changing T or something like that, I just don´t know if and what and how I will tell her about the things I write about here.