I am having a very hard time of it right now. This has been going on for over a month. I have panic attacks, and find myself unable to speak clearly or even intelligibly. It has impacted my work, primarily, but also my self-esteem. I feel like it is having a negative spiral effect, in that the more it happens, the worse I get.

I thought it might be med related, but now I am back on the meds that I was on for years. I’m shaky, can’t formulate a clear thought, and tremble visibly. To make matters worse, I am an attorney. I am losing work due to my visible problems. I quit a good job due to the problems I was having.

I was seeing a pdoc who put me on lithium, which only made me worse. She was also increasing my benzos. I am now off the lithium and coming down off the benzos back to the stable dose of klonopin that I’ve been on for 10 years. I’m just trying to stabilize myself.

I had hoped that getting off of the lithium would do the trick, but I just had another bad attack. I was at work, trying to talk to a client. I couldn’t even formulate a clear sentence. I am ashamed.

Does anyone have any ideas or thoughts that might help? I’m desperate.