I think the couple of hours will really only last a couple of hours -- maybe five -- and I am just going to back away from the second committee, which would be much, much more work. I am also taking a step back from my inclination to overcomplicate things by doing them the 'right' way.

To be less vague - this organization has no website, no marketing materials, and is trying to create a dataset that another non-profit will use in a smartphone app. I have a background in IT, an MBA, and a few years ago started writing smartphone apps.

So I feel a little jumped on. I am happy to offer guidance and explain things. I am really worried about getting sucked into doing a ton of work for free. People who aren't familiar with technology (like the people I've met so far in this group) have no idea how long it actually takes to create a nice looking website or pretty promotional materials-- and once the non-profit finds out how much it will cost them to create the smartphone app they've described, I'm pretty sure that project will be abandoned.

And, yes, you nailed it that this is related to my childhood. I had a narcissistic addict father and a martyr mother (narcissistic in her own way). I was a definite people pleaser growing up. It's like I was doomed to wind up this way. When I say no to people, or feel like saying no, I worry that I am like my father. When I say yes, I worry that I am martyring myself. I have no idea what normal looks like.

What makes this even more frustrating is that I sometimes don't take advantage of opportunities or get close to people because I am worried that they will ask me for something and I will say yes when I don't want to. I am not sure if that really makes sense -- it's like my inability to say no affects what I say yes to.

But it is true, I shouldn't overcomplicate this and I should just start practicing no, even if it feels like I am being selfish.