Hazelgirl is exactly right. My t is on the road to saying the same thing. I bottle up everything that I need to get out and wait to do so in therapy figuring that I'm seeing a therapist to talk over the hard things and learn how to deal with them on my own. However, she doesn't necessarily want that. She wants me to slowly open up about things from my past with someone I trust in my real world so that when we eventually feel that I've gained all that there is to be gained from therapy, I can take what I've learned, how to gently rely on others trusting them and letting them in, and apply it to my outside world. I know that her suggestion to tell me friend about the csa is coming soon, and I think it's for the exact same reasons your t wants you to think about opening up to yours. "It's lonely living a life where no one can see you," says t, "you don't have to do this alone."

It takes bravery, which is something that I don't have in regards to this area, but wish to you. I'm sorry you have mixed feelings about today's session and hope that you can have a good in between session time.