Let me start by saying I don't really have any particular attachment to my T. She's a nice lady. I have nothing against her, but I also have no desire to be close to her or whatever. If I had to get a new T, it would mostly just be annoying. I don't want to start over with a stranger. But I wouldn't "miss her" or anything like that.

That said, I think she's trying to get rid of me.

I know she mainly likes dealing with kids. Although, I've only ever seen 1 kid ever come out of her office before me... so I feel like the majority of her patients are adults. Although, she said kids usually come to the "later" appointments and that's what I need, so maybe she sees me as taking a kid's place? I dunno.

I feel like she's trying to pawn me off on other people. She finally got me to make a pdoc appointment. She keeps suggesting a different lady who does EMDR. This last visit, she didn't make another appointment for me, but said if I wanted one to call.

I'm totally not hurt... just maybe, annoyed? Why is she making me beg for appointments? WTF.

She told me before that if I didn't open up about CSA we didn't have anything else to discuss.

Now that I did that, she's saying if I don't want to change my relationship with my husbad we don't have anything to discuss.

I don't get it. It's like all ultimatums or something.

Again, I'm not hurt. Just confused. I don't understand why it's all or nothing.

I know I need to fix some things, but it's like it has to be at her speed or nothing.

I also think she tries to antagonize me, and I'm not sure why. I have no problem expressing anger, so why try to piss me off? She has twice now said, "I feel sorry for you." If that isn't meant to piss me off, what is her point? I think I just looked at her blankly both times because it seemed like such a weird/snotty thing to say.

She said something else antagonistic this last session too, but I can't remember now what it was... I had disclosed the CSA and she was trying to cram this stuff down my throat about fixing things with my husband and I can't just jump from one to the other like that... Damn, I wish I could remember, but it was obviously meant to antagonize me.

Why would she try to piss me off like that? I just stared into space blankly and thought weakly that she was trying to make me angry. I dunno if she was trying to "pull me back" because I was out of it, but all I could do was just "think" the thoughts, slowly process them, but then chose not to act/not to get angry. Seemed pointless.

We didn't talk about getting over the CSA at all... just fixing things with my husband. Which... that seems secondary to me. Why the f u c k is my relationship with my husband more important than fixing ME? Why is she trying to make him more important than me.

God damn now I'm really pissed. I knew she was churchy. I shouldn't have ever gone to her.