Have any of you experiencing depression in your teens and early 20s found it caused a sort of identity crisis? Like it made you question everything you had only just begun to believe was central to your being?
I was always into the performing arts, and pursued it up until the second year of college when I left my school (for a lot of reasons besides depression). I had been majoring in dance and in the first year was very positive and excited about pursuing a dance/performing arts career. I knew I'd have to work a non performance job to get by as a dancer, this didn't deter me. My only deterrent during those years was self esteem: I needed to work on my ability to bounce back from rejection.
Then, I left college, and depression hit me hard. I had been dancing 6 days a week, at least 4 hours a day, but when I left I stopped dancing almost completely. I made small attempts to get back into it, but I'd also been injured and this made it extra painful to try to take class again. I became very out of shape. Two years later and I have taken only one dance class.
At first I was so embarrassed and afraid to go back to dance class because I'd left college in disgrace (so it seemed) and then taken a long break... But later, I began to convince myself that it wasn't really my thing.
I can't really say I'm on a break now. I just don't dance anymore. I miss dancing, but I don't know if it's a core part of me.
Could this be the depression disrupting my sense of self? It really hit me hard when I left dance school, and ever since I've felt kind of unsure of who I am and what I love. Has anyone had this experience of depression causing loss of self knowledge?